A month or two back, a pregnant mom contacted me and wanted me to be her doula. It’s been a few years since I’d been a doula, especially for a birth house birth, but I thought it over and talked with Vitaliy, and then said OK.

So, nine days after her birth, I must say, I’m so very, very glad I took that break for a few years! I’ve been able to forgive, to make better emotional, physical, and mental boundaries for myself, and to come back to this (after my own births and pregnancies and breastfeeding are over) and just serve a woman.

Whom did I forgive? I learned to forgive medical personnel for the shocking, abusive way they conduct births and treat couples. I give them grace, that they are also abused people basically doing what they’re taught and being who the culture forms them into.

I’ve forgiven women for going to birth in these places. I have grace for them, that they are doing what they think is best, doing what they have the confidence to do.

By God’s help, I am with these people in the power of Christ, walking in His love and forgiveness and help, as He did on the earth.

God gave me a powerful way to help myself put boundaries around my mind. When I remember their treatment and how the birth went, when the video tape of memory plays in my head, I pause the tape, everyone in the room freezes, and I walk to each one (in my mind), and I bless them and pray for them to know the love of Jesus. Then I don’t start the tape again. If it comes back, I just do the same exercise. It transforms me, to be a life-giving person and not become hard and rude, nor crushed and sad and helpless.

I also stepped out of the room after the baby was born, to not witness the after-birth abuse. That boundary helped.

So another lady has contacted me, too, and God seems to say “let’s do it!”